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Survivor & Professional Speaker on Heart Health Advocacy

Simple Actions

Have you ever done something just because you felt it was the right thing to do…and then this seemingly inconsequential action becomes something much greater than you anticipated?

 

In first grade I met Nicole Safford.  Even at 5-years-old, we begin to discover stereotypes:  the popular know-it-all, (Jennifer Catalano), the tough bad boy, (Brian Beckford), and the one who gets picked on.  Nicole was the one who got picked on.

 

I’ll always remember that sick feeling in my stomach when Nicole would do something and the other kids would make fun and laugh.  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but it didn’t seem like I should jump on the bandwagon.

No, instead I approached the most intellectual, wise, perceptive, astute scholars I knew: Mom and Dad.

 

After all, Mom knew how to get Play-Doh out of my hair (don’t ask …I stand firm blaming my sister), and Dad knew how to make a perfect glass of coffee milk (extra syrup, straw, and if you were lucky, a little whipped cream).  Surely they must know the answer to this icky situation.

 

I scheduled the family meeting and laid the issue on the table, wanting to know how to solve the problems of the world…or at least the playground. 

 

My mom told me that not all little girls were as lucky as I was, and Dad said maybe I should stand up to the next person who made fun of her.”  What Mom didn’t say was that she happened to know quite a bit about Nicole’s family life….Nicole never saw her mother who had a drug addiction, her dad was often away on military business, and her grandmother of 68-years-old was raising her and her little brother.  And her grandmother didn’t speak English…which explained a lot about not always being able to understand what Nicole was saying.  In short, Nicole wasn’t as lucky as I was to have a family who cared about her, and that meant I had a responsibility to her.

 

The next day I told Jennifer Catalano that she was mean and should leave Nicole alone (so there!).  Yup, I had quite a way with words. 

 

I played with Nicole at recess that day, and by the end of our 15 minutes of academic freedom, two more girls were playing tag with us.  Eventually Nicky became less of the kid to pick on, and our friendship developed.  After a couple of years, she had to move far away because of her dad’s job.  Before she left, she hugged me and told me I was the best friend she ever had.

 

Every single summer from that year until college, Nicky would call me around July to say hi and ask me how I was doing.

 

It’s pretty crazy to look back to realize how much impact a person can have with just a few words.  I’ve discovered the same is true with educating people about heart disease.  It doesn’t have to be a huge, enormous action to simply change a person’s life. 

 

When I was Miss Massachusetts in 2006, I was interviewed for a newspaper story right before I left for the Miss America pageant.  Instead of focusing on the pageant, the reporter and I ended up in a great discussion about my condition, heart disease overall, and how more lives can be saved.  I went to the pageant, had a blast, and came home to an email that was better than any crown could ever be.

 

A woman wrote to me saying she read the article about me in the newspaper, and my story gave her the courage to go through with surgery to get an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator (ICD), the same device that I was given at 17.  She had been nervous and procrastinating, despite desperately needing it.  She figured that if I could strut across stage in a swimsuit and heels with that scar across my chest and device in my body, then she could take the plunge herself.  She thanked me for saving her life, later giving me an update that her surgery went well.  I never heard from her again.

 

I took a simple step to educate a reporter, and a life was saved.  15 minutes of recess with Nicole Safford became the only source of friendship she had ever known.  Let’s get this straight…I’m no Mother Teresa, but I do recognize we can all take action, even if it’s small.  We don’t have to scale buildings or build mountains to change a life.  Compliment that person who seems down; write that card to a friend just because; educate someone about a health condition.  Recognize that a seemingly small incident could have a significant impact, and that one day someone’s small effort may change your own life in a monumental way.  Be that change to someone else.

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I know it’s hard.  That ice cream sundae looks like a creamy boat of deliciousness.  And, man, that pizza seems like it could be the best thing in your life since Velcro. 

To top it off, your gym card has been lost in the war zone of your pocketbook, and that has been holding up as a worthy excuse to miss your morning work-outs…and let’s not even talk about your stress at work.

 

Here’s the deal, though.  No one truly feels all warm and fuzzy, deep down inside, about making unhealthy decisions for herself. 

 

It’s hard.  We all have our choices to make, and sometimes they seem beyond impossible.  I’ll throw an idea out there for some personal heart health motivation.  Maybe, just maybe, this can be made easier by trying to put a new perspective on our lives.

 

Here is mine. 

 

Three years ago I traveled to the Bukoba region of Tanzania.  With the group Jambo Tanzania, I helped set up a medical clinic out of an abandoned shack.  For most residents of the local villages, this is the only medical care they ever receive.  Many do not survive in between the two year visits.  When I watched children dying of malnutrition, dehydration, and other ailments to which I rarely gave a second thought, I realized I am a lucky lady.

 

Having been diagnosed with a life-threatening heart condition at 17, I recognize that had I lived in certain other places in this world I probably would never have been diagnosed, and I certainly could not have been treated.  As I held a little girl dying from malaria in my arms, this fact slapped me right in the face. 

 

Luckily, we were able to save that little girl, and the trip was an eye-opening experience to me.  Don’t get me wrong, though…it wasn’t all stress.  The native dancing and singing were beautiful, the late night festivities were a blast, and the artwork was fascinating.  One of the most memorable moments, however, was meeting a 70-year-old man we were treating for an STD.  He had fathered over 60 children in the local villages and was asking if we had brought any of our American Viagra for him.  It was interesting to try to explain to him the various reasons that we thought he should stop procreating.  Trying to describe our modern concept of child support was a whole additional ball of fun.

 

So, let’s go back to the fact that we have choices. 

 

That fact alone makes us very lucky.  We have the ability to choose our foods at a supermarket, rather than scramble for any morsel available.  We have the luxury to choose in which fashion we want to work out, from ballroom dancing classes to kayaking lesson, rather than exercising from the need to run or walk everywhere we go.  We have the extravagance to set up routine doctor’s physicals, the privilege to choose what kind of occupation we have, and the power to say “yes” or “no”. 

We have the ability to give ourselves all the attention we deserve.  It’s a pretty sweet deal, so embrace this freedom.  Find a new perspective that you can put on your life, and find the courage to move toward loving yourself in the best way possible. 

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Heroes and Heart Health Advocacy

 

We all have our definition of heroes.  To some, it’s those superhuman fictional beings with outrageous strength and fantastic skills.  I’ll be honest…I certainly felt like a hero when I was four and used to wear my Wonder Woman underwear.  It was my tip-top secret that on those days I could tear off my pants and save the world if requested…luckily Spindle City pre-school was never attacked by nuclear missiles or assaulted by an evil villain.  My mom might not have been too proud with that phone call.

 

To other people heroes may be those in the military, warriors who sacrifice their lives to defend ours and show courage in the face of death because they hold the utmost values.  A hero may be a family member who has simply given all of his heart and soul to the people he loves.  Maybe a hero is a historical figure, a person who has made her mark on the foundation of our society.

 

Heroes.

 

A couple of weeks ago I was an honoree at Simon’s Soiree, a heart screening fundraiser for Simon’s Fund.  This non-profit organization is in memory of an infant whose life was claimed by LongQT Syndrome, the same underlying and life-threatening cardiac condition found in as many as 1 in 4,000 people…Most are unaware of its existence.  The auctioneer at the event, a local sportscaster personality, unexpectedly posed the question to all of us: “What does being a hero mean to you?”

 

In his line of work, professional athletes are often credited with this term.  There is an incredible amount of courage attributed to the competitor who parts the seas and leads the way to a World Series championship or a Super Bowl victory. 

 

Luckily, our auctioneer friend disagreed with the way athletes are portrayed.  He assured us that none of us would turn down the $30 million a year to lead the “difficult” and “valiant” life of a professional athlete.  Where was the heroism in that?

 

He explained that heroes are the parents of Simon, people who fight through their own pain to prevent others from experiencing grief and loss.  Heroes selflessly push to create change, no matter the personal obstacles, no matter the struggle.  Heroes help other people, whether they personally know those people or not.

 

His question stuck with me.  I’ve met so many heroes in my heart health advocacy: the man who was saved with an Automated External Defibrillator and now pledges to place them in every school and public facility; the doctors who volunteer to organize a free camping trip for children with congenital heart defects; the 10-year-old girl who had a stroke as an infant and talks to adults about their heart health; the hundreds of parents of Parent Heart Watch who have lost children like Simon and aim to create national awareness of Sudden Cardiac Arrest. 

 

I guess I’ve come a long way from my Wonder Woman underwear. 

Heroes has been re-defined.  It’s not about our names being in the headlines, and it certainly isn’t about our bi-weekly paycheck.  We all have the capacity to be heroes. 

We all have personal stories that can touch others. 

We all have the ability to create change. 

 

Define what being a hero means to you, and then become one.

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